Obtusely

Tonight, the star’s not visible

No hot but also no cold

Rain also not fall

I’m standing here

Wait for you, come home

Sound’s funny, right

But the point is, I wait for you

I don’t know what happened

Certainly, I can’t get it the sensation

I feel’s like a stupid girl

The all look’s like without result

I’m fed up with my mind

Your face always came

I try to close my eyes

You still there

When I wake up

You still there

I don’t want to anguish keep on

But, I don’t know

How to fix this feeling

It feel’s hurt

Wait for someone

Who never know

That I wait for him

Believe Me When I'm Alone. I'm Not Doing What You Think.

                    What’s going on? I don’t know certainly. It’s just the comfortable pulse who encouraged and insisted me to stay here. Yeah, you must be not understand yet about my old habits, “I’ve been wonted to stand apart.” Believe me, my parents have a big house (legacy) and I stay there with my grandmother almost seven years until she’s gone in the six years our togetherness. You know what makes me stay even if my grandmother is not there anymore? The answer is, “I love my loneliness, I don’t have to change myself and my hobbies. And I be aware when I just feeling like, this is mine and I’m in an authority.” I think all about that is getting end after I’m wander about and moved away to Metropolis who getting far from my hometown. In fact, it’s only affirmed that I really liked my solitude. Do not ever think that I don’t love my family. Do not ever because the truth, I always taking my time to think about Ibu (Mother), Bapak (Father) and of course my Brothers and my Sisters. Do not think that I don’t care about them. I just…, maybe I just self – interested. I just love my self. Yeah, sound’s bad. I do hate myself but I can’t handle it.

                    I think, I have any delight when I spend my time to learn anything, I’ll never get ashamed when I get wrong when picking my brother’s guitar who I borrow and of course when my voice sound’s off – key. I‘ll never ashamed when I try to simulate the make – up tutorial and try to use a sexiest clothes. I’ll never get the bad feeling when I get failed cooking (I can laughing myself when my breakfast fell unwell). I can laughing, crying, screaming or anything it’s gonna be free when I watching a movie or just reading a book. I can try to use any accent because I really love to learn any language. Exactly I’m not a clever woman and I’m not take a special education who can focusing my language ability. I think, the language is an art. You can, if you want. And I love to learn self – taught languages “autodidact”. And you have to know that my loneliness has produce so many novel and poem who never published yet.

 

                    I don’t think that my habits gonna be back. Now I think I can handle myself. I love my loneliness, I can’t run away. I’m vacuum from my habits for a while and comeback again and again. I have so many family in this city. But I do not interesting to make so far conversations, visiting their home one by one or just say “hi” on the social media. That’s look like a burden for me. I know that they must be worried about my daily living and I’ve been try to say that I can handle myself even I get alone. I know when my sister or my aunt worried about me, it’s not a real worried about myself, she just worried about “a liberty”. You know? That sounds like a nightlife, free sex and anything else. Maybe it’s not good to talk but that’s my feeling when you worried about me. Because you have been hear my adolescence gossip, which have been greatly exaggerated. I realized for you, I’m ever actually have a relationship with several guy. But it’s been a long time ago and I have been trying to not make a shit relationship again (according to the rules of my religion). I’m also never having sex with anyone like your accused. I just have some boyfriend’s when I’m in high school. Just that, you have to believe me like my mother. I just cannot to stay at your home, and pretend to be another. And if you want to know, I just can‘t to be myself when I feel uncomfortable. And once again, I just feel uncomfortable when I staying your home.

You Have to Know, How Amazing Indonesian Authentically Food.

Hello Blog.

                Have you ever heard “INDONESIA”? Maybe, some of you ever hear BALI, LOMBOK or JAKARTA before read it. All of the city I said, include in Indonesia. If you want to know, Indonesia is a most beautiful place, for me. Indonesia is beautiful in everything but tonight I’m gonna be focusing to tell you about the amazing authentically food of Indonesia. This section is inspired from my gorgeous partner for traveling “Wahyu Widiastuti” she is the most patients woman aside from my mother.  If you try, I swear you gonna be addicted. For the first I wanna tell you what a food I’m eat now, this is secret but I’m eating fried rice who I called “Nasi goreng”. It’s made from rice to be fried with seasoning (garlic, red onion, chili and some vegetables suit one’s taste) so delicious and spicy. Almost like bellow this. You have to try.

                And then you have to know about the most popular victuals in Indonesia  right now, and the food is “Tahu Bulat” maybe you can imagine that’s gonna be a Tofu (you know that Tofu is made from freshly precipitated soy beans are experiencing koagulas) will be fried and you can use any sauces, hot, spicy, tasteful and anything.

But not that point which I want to tell you. It’s about sensational and gonna be trending topic throughout Indonesia because they manner’s to sales.  They used a freaky manner like a special soundtrack sound’s funny gonna be like that:

"Tahu Bulat, digoreng dadakan, 500an, anget-anget ..., gutih-gurih..., Enyooooiiii ..."

I can’t tell you the truly translate but maybe approximately like that:

Round tofu, suddenly fried, 5 hundred rupiah’s, warm… tasteful… and the last word is a slang, I can’t found the translate maybe sound’s like a “Ughhh”. Lol, I can’t get it my word’s.

If you want to listening the song you can hearing:

http://uyeshare.4sharedmp3.xyz/music/tahu-bulat-digoreng-dimobil-enak.html

                For the first time you looking, maybe it’s gonna be dusty, not hygienis and look like a freak but I swear maybe you can get a sensation’s who you never get it in your country. I mean when you try to sleeping or just relaxed in your home, you can hear the discordant song. They used the speaking tube for make you get waking up with shock. Ha… ha… ha… gonna be disturb and annoying but very exciting for our.

                I try to share you about this because my friend who I dedicated this article. She tell me her secret which she called “American Dream”. She want to buy a truck to sell the “round tofu” in America. So simple like the sound but not for my friend and for me because we have to collect whole our salary. You can imagine if it happened to you. Your salary is three million rupiah’s but to buy a ticket to America need’s at least five month. It is just to live, not to eat, stay and selling capital. OMG you can imagine how hard her want to be come true. Our little salary and low currency exchange rate make America gonna be further, more and more far. Whether she stupid enough to walk with her dream? I think no… because I have another American Dream too. And I think nothing is impossible in the worlds. As like as my word’s before. A girl is always have am absurd dream or hope even if just one hope throughout her live. Keep spirit my partner traveller. And guys, maybe I want to tell you about aur trip’s and you can see the truly beautiful and wonderfull Indonesia.

Denial

I guess, I have to tell you something

I mean, there’s something important to say

Who I have been along keeping it my self

Hi, what are you doing, now?

Hi, I know that’s look like a wrong

But, for the first time I wanna talking the truth

Maybe, I’m gonna loving you

I feel something different when you go

Yeah, I’m sure that I’ve been falling in love

But I don’t know when it was start

I just feel’s like I’m going crazy

I’m still awake all the night

Think and remember

Thinking about you

Who never know my feeling

And you’ll never know

Because you has been marriage her

Make me feel’s like almost die

What can I do as an ordinary woman?

Sleeping with a depressed and an un useful

I’m un useful because can’t make you stay

Ha… ha… stupid, right?

Even if I try, you’ll never here

Yeah, I think, I’m crazy now

I’m lossing my mind

I can’t see anything

World’s look like shattered slowly